It Was All About Me

I let myself down today. Nothing too major, the world is still turning but I need to vent anyway.

In my cooking groups lots of things I did were wrong. I got upset that my chicken had disappeared (until A reminded me that I choose my reactions). Let's face it you can't make Lemon Chicken without the chicken. I did get over it but my initial reaction disappointed me - and getting upset wasn't going to magically create chicken to appear. Sigh ...

I had three lovelies in my group - a brand new cook, a learner cook and a confident cook. The confident cook insisted on doing the recipe I had earmarked for the new cook - and then screwed it up (by MY expectations only). My leaner cook decided that she didn't want to cook things in batches and threw everything in the pan instead (again MY expectations shattered - I mean the recipe said to cook them in batches!) and my new cook was slower than I wanted.

This has nothing to do with the lovelies - my learner cook came to me and said she would do it in batches next time - she was just trying to hurry things up but realized that a different result was achieved. My leaner cook was pleased as punch that he cooked the meal. My confident cook stayed stroppy with me - couldn't see that chucking everything in a pan and stirring it might taste fine but it wasn't actually a stir fry - but that is okay too.

And to be honest, all of the food was great and they worked really hard and I am not complaining about them, not in the least.

Today was MY problem alone. It is unrealistic to expect a brand new cook to produce what, for him was a new challenge, in the same time it would take me (who has cooked for over 30 years). I had assumed the knowledge of our experienced cook, I should have managed that better. Any real educator knows that you never assume knowledge, but that you don't patronize people either. I also shouldn't have gone internally (yes only internally) beserk when she chopped the vege "wrong" and made it 'noodles with a smatter of vege' rather than 'a bountiful platter of semi-tender vege on a bed of noodles' - again MY expectations, not hers.

I don't usually react this way - externally or internally, especially not internally. I love teaching people to cook. I was so excited about today I turned up over an hour early. And the actual quality of the final dish has ever really been a priority - it is the learning of skills, of what food is like, what tastes work and what don't. But the food was great anyway :-) I usually get passionate about teaching beginners, or expanding the techniques and skill range of those who have had some experience. I need to figure out what was triggered today ...