The Yarra Valley, Warburton and Fire

2009 was a bad year for bushfires in Victoria, specifically around the Yarra Valley. I didn't live there but did work at the time for Centrelink, Australia's social services agency, and was a part of the team that had, as its job, to contact everyone in the area.

Now some people contacted us - there were specific hotlines set up - the rest we did our best to call. As well as the $2000 emergency payment that most were eligible for, we also checked if they had other needs that we could assist with.

 For some it was assistance with food or clothes (millions of dollars (and tons) of items were being donated from across Australia and trucked into the area) , others wanted to find out if such-and-such was okay, or to find somewhere to say. We did our best to put them in contact with relevant NGOs and other agencies. We (Centrelink) also offered counsellors but mostly people just wanted to talk and talk they did.  I blogged some of them at the time.

It was hard, it was gruelling, at times I shed many a tear as the person on the other end of the line did the same. I went home and dreamed of their stories. This went on for weeks. The first anniversary commemorations on the radio and tv bought it all back and the nightmares started over again. I avoided all of the following years' commentaries.

I was thinking of none of this when coming down the highway last Friday. That was until I spied a big green sign that had an arrow to Flowerdale, one  of the affected towns. I hadn't realised I was so close, or that I was staying "in the zone".

Even now four years later there is evidence in the area of the destruction brought on by those fires. Yes there is a lot of regrowth in the forests, the towns appear to have been rebuilt and, on Good Friday, were particularly vibrant and active but I could see the scars of blackened tree trucks. My anxiety levels were up and I was on alert for the whole drive to where I was staying.

Warburton was one of the towns on the edge of the disaster. Relatively it was untouched but only becuase of a late change of wind,.

Warburton is an amazing community - full of art and life and color. Looking out of the window of where I am staying, or at any of the many many trees growing throughout the townships brings me the sense of delight that trees invariably do.

But if I look up at the mountain, heavily forested with trees, I can only "see" flames consuming it, my hands sweat, my breath quickens, my blood pressure rises, tears well up and I feel very unsafe.I can hear the stories as loudly as I could on the day of the calls

I have lived at the foot of the tree covered mountains around Bellingen for 7 years and never had this reaction. I sit and imagine now the Bello mountains and I feel happy thoughts, the same reaction as they always. It isn't "mountains" that distress me, it is these mountains.

I know this is the first time I have been to the area - either before or after the fires. What I wonder is that if I am having this reaction from my peripheral contact, how is the healing process going for everyone else who was directly affected.

Give me floods over fire any day.

PS I write this up from the safety of Tassie - I handwrote bits as I was traveling but now I have my first solid computer time. Even as I type my anxiety levels are up and I am weeping.


Image: "Bushfire near Kinglake" from Science In Public

New Year Words

I have been looking for a way to sum up my hopes for the year to come but gave up when I found this from Cherie at Butterfly Dreamer. She has said everything I wanted to. When you get a minute, click on over to check out her great photos and posts :-)

I think 2010 should be a leap of faith. A leap into unexplored new experiences. A year of more.

More laughter , more tasting the sweetness of life. Letting go of fear, letting go of old things , people and situations that do not serve us any longer. I look forward this year to new experiences, making new friends , new places to travel to. I sat last night at midnight in the freezing night air and stared up at that gorgeous full moon that was shining so brightly it lit the sky. It filled me with hope for some reason. I kept smiling up at it.

I have a very good feeling about this coming year. I am pursuing my dream of photography and writing more of my book. I have much to look forward to.

My wish for you in this brand new year, is that you pursue your dreams, and you don't let anyone influence you that they are not worth it. That you find your own happiness and laughter. Lots more laughter lovies.

 Photo: "Leap" by 7th-Heaven-Creative

Learning and Learned

I headed to my cafe yesterday to do some more study. They have a great choice of tables of various sizes both inside and out. For various reasons I prefer to sit at "the big table" outside. It is a big picnic bench underneath the camphor laurel and as there is only one of me - even when I spread out my study stuff - invariable others come and sit, bringing their coffee and newspapers.

Yesterday I was joined by Tom, a guy who I had shared the space with previously. I usually just smile and have a quick hello with him before I put my head down and start doing my stuff. He was joined by his friend Andrew and before long they were chatting in a manner that was impossible to ignore .... so I joined in.

For the next few hours we discussed politics, classical music, yoga, politics, the environment, philosophy. It was heaven on a stick even though I knew my own study had obviously been put on hold!

What amazed me most about these two guys was that both confessed to being "un-learned". Ba humbug! They may not have had degrees (and neither do I for that matter) but their depth and breadth of knowledge was just incredible. A delicious way to spend the morning :-)

Photo: "Talking Heads" by woodfaery

He's A Bloke, He's An Aussie

I went out to a club last night (no not the dancing kind - this is the restaurant and bar type of venue). Now there is a protocol when coming into these venues which I wasn't entirely sure I knew about so I admit I was a little nervous.

To explain that, if you live more than 5 km away from the venue then you need to sign in as a guest. Simple really but I wasn't sure whether it was 5 or 50 (and as I fit into the 50 km range would I have to join?) or whether those friends that I was meeting had to verify for me (and they weren't there at that moment). Okay it wasn't hard but I had questions.

Anyway, behind me in the queue were a couple of "traditional" 20-something Aussie blokes happily interjecting the "F" word a couple of times in each sentence and talking a little rough. I should immediately clarify that they weren't aggressive or rude in any way - they were just having a regular little conversation between themselves in the traditional Aussie way.

When my turn came at the front of the queue I indicated that they should go first as I needed to talk to the staff member on reception to find out what I needed to do. That person became immediately available and 10 seconds later I was organised.

Once I got upstairs to the restaurant I realised I had left my camera in the reception area. I quickly made my way back and the security officer indicated that he had noticed it and put it away behind the reception desk. My two Aussie blokes were still there and they made a general comment along the lines of "leaving already?" and I laughed and indicated I was just getting my camera. At that stage I rolled my eyes and in mock self-deprecation added "that you just can't some people anywhere".

Oh the change that came over these two "roughies"! Their faces looked concerned and one immediately added that he didn't want to hear me speaking about myself like that and the other concluded that I should never put myself down.

What was that about books and covers lol? Many thanks guys :-)


Photo: "C'mon Aussie, C'mon" by gamebreaker

Little Conversations, Big Opportunities

I was having one of my little chats today with someone who rang in about being a "wanna be" writer when he announces that his wife is a multi-published author and he himself is a technical writer with a passion for helping other follow the writing dream.

He has given me a heap of advice and encouragement in stepping up from leaving it as just a dream into making it a reality.

Is it just a small world or am I putting all the right vibes out there .... first stumbling across the uni course and now this .....



Photo: "The Author" by kynobau

Real Heroes

It is interesting to watch how different people are reacting to the tragedies befalling Australia at the moment.

Some people who clearly don't meet the guidelines are applying for financial assistance. That doesn't worry me, I just think of them as the "av-a-go" breed, and there is nothing wrong with that. Mind you, when they get angry when we say no, that is another story.

And then there are the quiet lot that are my new heroes.

There was the gentleman affected by the floods who was philosophical about sewerage contamination ("don't worry about that I have cleaned it up") but needed a hand to repair other parts of his house. He was very clear he was only taking this as a loan and, although he wasn't sure how, he was going to give all the money back. It took a good five minutes of reassurance that while he was more than welcome to repay or return any of the money, he was entitled to the help and we didn't expect anything back. You could see the glow over the phone as he realised that he really could keep the money and that the help was genuine.

There was the elderly woman who just needed to talk - about her mother, and her kids and ... well just about anything really. She didn't want a social worker, she just wanted to chat. After being evacuated from her home 3 times in the last two weeks as the fires continue to rage, she wanted something "normal" and at that specific moment, it was chatting with me. I put aside all concerns about timing and joined in with "just chatting".

And then there was the guy who rang asking if we could perhaps help him - he had seen things people aren't meant to see and realised he needed to talk to a counsellor. This was an Aussie bloke who obviously wasn't used to asking for help, or talking about things like "feelings" but he acknowledged that he wasn't sleeping to well and was really going through a rough patch. Hearing just a general outline of his experience made me wonder why he wasn't in the fetal position sucking his thumb.

These are the real people who have really been hit by either the fires or the floods. These are the people that are my heroes for their tenacity, their dignity, their honesty, their integrity, their ability to risk being "real".

Photo: "some help" by Ronaaa

What A Day

I volunteered to do some overtime last night to call some of the people affected by the bushfires to update them on their interaction with my workplace. In doing so I had to decide not to do a big cook (or "go overboard" as others might say) for the fundraiser today. Not that that means there won't be enough for everyone - so many are pitching in.



Anyhow, the calls started off well with the resiliance and sense of humor of the Australia spirit shining through - those affected by the fire admitted they had lost their homes but they were still together and were overwhelmed by all of the support they were receiving.


Then the calls started to get harder - people sharing their stories of loss, trying hard to focus on the future but struggling to cope with the present, people worried about the effect the fires had on their children, people worried about where they will live or what they will wear.

I cried along with them. The pain, the fear was so palpable, so tangible.

I decided to take a break and go home early - I will make more calls today but I wasn't much use to anyone at that point.

The irony of going 'home' for a break didn't escape me so I stopped and had a quick time-out before hitting the road with a precious friend who listened, who loved, who who got me laughing.

And on the way home it started to rain. And by rain I mean I had to slow down from my usual 100 kph to 40 kph with serious thoughts of just pulling over and waiting for it to stop. I thought the clouds were crying with me until, again, the ongoing irony of the situation became obvious. Some 1000 km away people are fighting over 30 bushfires, 15 of which are still out of control and in my neighborhood, the rain was falling so heavily I could barely see the road in front of me.

And after a night of little sleep and many bad dreams, I am up, ready to do it all again. The muffins are in the oven, their smell is wafting around the house. And I am wondering where all of these people, and the thousands of volunteers who are helping out, are getting their reserves. I sit here and still weep.

Art: "Angel Cry" by digitalsoldier

Cricket, Turkey and Churchill

I was speaking to a middle aged gentleman about the cricket - he was watching the Test between South Africa and Australia and updating me on the scores as we processed his business. We agreed that Hayden and Lee won't be back in the Australia side. We re-arranged the team with players of our choosing. We solved the mystery of Australian cricket. Then another Aussie wicket fell - doh!

A few more work related questions and the conversation moved to travel - there is a big lottery draw this weekend. My gentleman was telling me that he would take me to Lords (the hallowed home of cricket) to watch a Test when he won. I laughed and suggested we thrown in a West Indies One Day Tour as well. As much as I hate the tropics it is a dream of mine. He agreed with a smile in his voice.

Being an obvious traveller (where I am not ...yet) I asked him his favorite destination. "Turkey" was the reply. I asked whether it was the people, the culture, the food or something else that made it so special. He said "all of them as well as the landscape".

He had been to Gallipoli 3 or 4 times- not for a service but during the quieter times of the year. Conversation moved to the worthiness (or otherwise) of Churchill's leadership and legacy.

He quoted Churchill's line when a visitor to Parliament pointed out that he was drunk "Yes ma'am but you are ugly. In the morning I will be sober. What will you do?"

We both laughed.

And that corresponded with the conclusion of the gentleman's business and the end of the conversation.




Photo: "telephone telephone" by lady-bug

Little Conversations

My new job means I am on the phone all day. Some of these calls means I am talking to someone for half an hour or so. Part of this time is waiting for the computer to process data, or while I am clicking answers to questions I have already asked. It is during these snatched moments that I chat to my clients.

I realise that, more and more, I am having some fabulous conversations during these times and, when I am still thinking about them and smiling at 10 pm at night, then they are blog-worthy.

I need to emphasie that the conversations don't last for 30 minutes as such - they are just snatched moments between completing the business for the client.

So I have a new theme "Little Conversations". Most of these will be work related but I will also post bits that may happen elsewhere, the supermarket or the post-office for example.

Photo: "telephone telephone" by lady-bug