Live, Laugh, Love

It is confidence in our bodies, mind and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and new lessons to learn - which is what life is all about.

Oprah Winfrey

Image: "Lush Love" by Belenen

Just Breathe ....

When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let it go.

Carol Burnett

Image: "a dream has arrived" by m0thyyku

Pardon?

What you do speaks so loud I cannot hear your words.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Art: "Offer Your Best" by Karin Turner

Love Q #15

Should couples stay together for the sake of the kids when love is no longer present? Can it work?

No couples shouldn't stay together - the kids know things aren't going well, don't give them more hardship, more baggage than they already have. But what you can do is to sustain a civil relationship between each other. Friendship would be ideal but it can be too hard, especially at the beginning. But put the kids first, let them know they are still loved, never use them as a bargaining tool, never bag out their other parent.

That is the gift you can give your children.

Love Q #14

Should you have a joint account with your partner? And should you keep tabs on what he or she may be spending on?

I think there should be a joint account for all of the household items (rent, mortgage, holidays, bills,food, savings etc) that are budgeted for together (as a couple) but each partner should also have an agreed amount of "spending money" that is there to do with as they wish. This spending money (be it $20 per week or $200) does not go into the joint account.

Love Q #9

How young is too young to get married? To put it another way, what is your ideal age to get married and why?

I generally don't believe that anyone is ever at the ideal age for marriage. We should always be open to growth, change, learning and heading off in different directions. Having someone you that you have a contract with limits those changes or, if you follow the statistics, leads to divorce. So what is the point of the marriage in the first place?

Life is a journey and while we may have a mate that walks some of that journey with us, the chances of finding someone who will still want to walk by your side once you extend your wings, or whether we want to walk with that same person as they grow and develop is unlikely. Unless of course someone begins to subvert their own needs, views and possibilities.

If I had to pick an age, I would say over 40, once life and our personalities have stabilized a bit but I do acknowledge that the 'children factor' then comes into play big time - making a Brady Bunch family isn't all it's been cracked up to be.

Maybe over 70 would be a better option ...

Love Q #7

Many people believe that love is everything in a relationship. We all marry for love expecting that it will see us through the good and bad times. Love gives rise to passion and can make our lives happier. But in a relationship, we cannot love in isolation. We may have people around us with nothing good to say about our partner. We also cannot survive on love. We need money and the lack of it may lead to quarrels. We certainly cannot expect our partner to change to suit us. We need to accept and even tolerate his character or bad habits. And a host of other issues confront us daily that test the strength of our relationship with our partner.

So, for Love Q #7, tell me this: Is love alone enough in a relationship?








Absolutely not I say! Love is transitional at the best of times, let alone when a relationship is under stress! A friendship (and a genuine liking of each other) and a commitment to stick together through the tough times are the only things that might ensure long-term success.

I mean how many times have we heard someone say "I love you but I don't like you" at which point we all roll our eyes because the inevitable is coming - maybe not immediately, but it is coming. "Like" and a decision to stay has to be the basis from which love can grow - and will sustain through those moments when love isn't there (your partner has just announced they have had an affair, you can't pay the bills).

And if it gets so bad that staying is no longer and option, then no amount of "I love you's" is going to change that for you.

As the song says "sometimes love just ain't enough"

Love Q #6

What are your top 5 criterias for choosing a mate, in order of priority? In other words, what is your ideal partner like?

Hmmm, I reserve the right to change at least some of the points on the list (after the first) lol

1 Has to be able to stimulate me intellectually - over a broad range of subjects
2 Has to be someone who respects themself, and others
3 Has to be relatively baggage free
4 Has to be honest
5 Has to be looking for a partnership (as opposed to be the "head of the house")

It would be a bonus if they want me for my body instead of my mind ... well every now and then anyway :-)

OMG, I have actually completed this without a cynical thought. Am I sick or am I mellowing lol - this might just be a good meme for me after all!

Love Q - The First Date

Do you think a man should pay on the first date and if he doesn’t, what would be your impression of him?

I think that whoever asks the other person out should organize and pay for the date. So if I ask I guy out, then I pay and if he asks me, then he pays. If a guy asked me out and wasn't going to pay (or hadn't made arrangements earlier) then bye bye - that is just plain rude.

I would feel intimidated if the first date was somewhere really posh and he came loaded with flowers or other gifts. My ideal would be a coffee somewhere - so that we could both have a chat in a casual atmosphere. Now if all went well this could lead to a meal on the same day, or just an invitation to catch up again soon.

My favorite first date (that I organized) was a visit to the zoo - a great walk, lots of people so minimal danger, always something to talk about (the animals if nothing else lol), no pressure. And yes I paid lol

For this week, lets give Annz and Mountaingirl some link love.

Join Love Q

Love Q #4

Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

No. It is all very lovely to think that those lovely memories will keep you warm and your heart and eyelids fluttering as the years go by but I think that is crap ... I mean so terribly wrong.

You can spend the rest of your life repeating the last memories (which let's face it, the relationship didn't last so the last memories are never good - death, argument, betrayal, whatever) or pining for something that gets more unreal as the years pass.

Imagine you had the most perfect piece of food ever (chocolate, fruit, whatever works for you) - for the rest of your life while things might be great, you know that they aren't as good as they could be because you have tasted perfection.

If you only get one shot at love, and you can see the future and know it isn't going to last, then avoid the whole thing completely.

Lol

For this week, we are linking to Mae and JM. And the home of Love Q is at Short Sweet Love Poems.

Love Q #3

What are the 5 types of men that you can’t stand and whom you think a woman should never marry?

1) Stupid men - men who aren't able to listen to another point of view, or accept the differences in others

2) Men who are "God's gift" - well give me the docket, I am heading for the refund counter

3) Men who are pigs - those who hog their food, hog the bed, hog the limelight ... you get the idea

4) Travelling men - yes those who carry all their baggage with them

5) Men who are all tied up - usually to their mothers - if she is that good, you definitely don't need me

For this week, don’t forget to link Nurin and Abbey up. As usual, write up your post with a link back to Short Sweet Love Poems here and then leave your post URL at the comments section.