Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Love Q #15

Should couples stay together for the sake of the kids when love is no longer present? Can it work?

No couples shouldn't stay together - the kids know things aren't going well, don't give them more hardship, more baggage than they already have. But what you can do is to sustain a civil relationship between each other. Friendship would be ideal but it can be too hard, especially at the beginning. But put the kids first, let them know they are still loved, never use them as a bargaining tool, never bag out their other parent.

That is the gift you can give your children.

4 comments:

Aud said...

Yes, kids are smart these days and they'll know and can see through the charade if a marriage seems forced. Being civil and never speak ill of the other parent seems like a better option.

Abbey said...

Dont know the answer for this one...Sometimes your damned if you do, damned if you dont...but I do like your answer chick...

Tracey said...

My personal experience tells me that NO, you should get out well before you start to hate your partner - I left when my relationship with my son's father had fizzled to the point we were more like flatmates than husband and wife and the day after I discovered his infidelity - but before I started to hate him. We always put our son before anything and ensured that his relationship with both parents did not suffer. As a result, we have a very civil relationship to this day. The only downside to all of this is that - especially when he was young - my son would say things like, "if you and dad are such good friends and get on so well, why can't you be married ?" Difficult to answer, but not as difficult as trying to hold a loveless marriage together, with fighting and resentment, angry words ... all for the sake of the child/ren (I lived that dream when I was a child myself - and had a miserably unhappy childhood as a result).

It's good to be back in circulation MG - I've missed you all :)

kyles said...

i love your thinking dear pearl, but i suspect it is too difficult for some to remain friends when they are dealing with the end of a relationship, but i do love you thinking on the idea and totally agree xo