My neighbor K passed today. Yes he had been poorly ever since I had known him, and had had a couple of scares before now but it doesn't make it any easier.
I am having a bit of a tough time with it I must admit. K is a mightily awesome person and I will miss his cheery smile but I am somewhat selfishly feeling so washed out for another reason.
It is ironic that I was trumpeting on Saturday as to how well I got through the anniversary of John's passing and now that I see K's wife's V's pain (she was his carer as I was John's which adds another parallel), it brings my own journey back in such a blinding rush - it almost is as though it it day one again.
And dumb things like he has only been gone for a few hours but V is in the stage of contemplating funerals and the like. When John passed we came up with the brilliant idea of having cremated (as requested) immediately but it was about 10 days before we had the service. It gave us all lots of time to get over the initial shock, as well as to deal with the shock before all of the extra stuff needed to be done. I wish I could share this with her.
I know V has a really good, if not powerfully incredible, support network, and that she will get through this the way we all do but ...
I have been keeping busy - I am working on getting Cheryl's travel plans finalized, I am obviously blogging, I have taken photos, I Scrabble as always - but not too busy. I had a quick chat with the amazing MW today and he assured me this was all very normal, that I should be honest about my emotions, and yes it would all pass.
Not looking for sympathy, just filling in a few more minutes....
Photo from These Fleeting Moments
6 comments:
I'm sorry chick, for K, for V...tis a tender time for you, so go with it & allow yourself to feel... MW is right, its all normal, all too very human...and some leave us all to soon...no matter the circumstances we are never ready...for that final 'moment'...
I wont give you platitudes, that this will pass, live in this time and grieve...for K, for John...and for yourself chick..do what you need to do, cry, scream, walk, write...whatever works for you... I won't see you till the morn..but if you need me you know where I am...
You are brilliant and you are loved
Thanks Miss A, I must admit, a but of self-nurturing is helping a great deal :-) and yours is just a bonus :-)
Hi MG, only just seen this post; your pain is palpable and my heart goes out to you and those close to you. I'm glad to hear you are being gentle with yourself and are surrounded by special people who clearly care for you very deeply. My thoughts are with you...
I'm sorry I missed your post of the anniversary and just want to say that I, too, believe that everything you are feeling is normal and part of the stages of grief. Hang on in there.
mwah...i have way missed the post, grief is such a personal thing, and hits each of us differently, i'm lovin the words of abbey, tm and wcl here, and just nodding, be kind to yourself and let yourself just feel sometimes. My greatest fear is not to not feel pain, its to not feel at all xo
Thank you ladies - one and all. Yes I was very gentle with myself and made sure I had lots of love and nurturing and it did pass. In fact by the next day everything was slipping into perspective quickly. Funny things emotions :-)
Post a Comment