I am angry - and I have been for some weeks. I don't recall when I have ever been this angry before. I especially get angry at about this time of the day when the general business of life slows down and I have time for reflection. Now I always said I would be honest on this blog but there is obviously another party involved here so forgive me if I do not include some identifiable details to maintain their privacy.
Did I mention I am angry. Actually I am more livid than angry. And I have been internalizing it all. I am not fussed that this person leaned on me during a hard time. I am not fussed that I disagree with their resolution of the situation. I am fussed that they crossed the line and emotionally blackmailed me into doing more than I wanted to, to get more involved than I ever should have. I am angry that they pushed old buttons. I am angry that they disrespected me, big time. I am angry that they took advantage of a bad situation. I am angry that they have walked away and not looked back.
Now, if I put my welfare hat on, I should discuss this with the person involved. If need be I should be assertive but not aggressive. Screw that. I can hypothesize what will happen but say I default to them saying a simple "sorry". I don't want that. I want them to undo what has happened. I want them to take my pain away. I want them to take the anger away. Being that that outcome (which I acknowledge is impossible) is not practical I see no point in bringing up the point with them - but I am putting up huge walls - this will NOT happen again.
And in the meantime I am still so very angry and I haven't come up with a successful plan to dissipate it.
Photo: "Angry Little Girl" by SubterfugeMalaises