Aaaah!

Okay that is me expressing my pain. I don't like talking about it because it sounds like I am whinging and I am sure it bores the listener rigid ... or makes them want to do something and there is nothing I can do - and I do appreciate that not only do some people have more pain than I do, they also have serious conditions to go along with it. But it is day 34 of my latest run of bad pain and I need to talk to someone so I figure this blog is as good as anything.

Now I say up front that I am not having spasms today (and haven't for the last week), and they are the factor that I struggle most with so that is one blessing. But this pain is more intense - and not only sharp, but sometimes feels like tearing. I did some research to distract myself yesterday, well looked up wiki and discovered that this latest round of pain focuses on the inguinal ligament (see I am learning human anatomy). I am still working out the name of the rest of the muscles that I can feel but it is safe to say all of the ones in the pelvic area are alive and well at the moment lol.

And it is at this time that I get increasingly frustrated by the things that I can't do. I have wanted my little patch of garden done for months now - I did start it a few weeks ago so it is half weeded, with newspaper down ready for the mulch to be added. Seriously, if I wouldn't think it would take more than an hour of no-so-hard work to finish. I have tried to pay someone for nearly a year now but can't find anyone (yes I am serious). So every time I leave the house, all I can see is the job half done. Part of me is getting frustrated enough to just finish the rest off - I mean how much more damage can I actually do to myself?

Okay so now I am getting into whinging, not having my little patch of garden looking pretty does not rank in the top 10 problems of the world .... or even the top 10 of Australia. It is just so damn (insert expletive here) frustrating.

I have been looking at marijuana for pain relief but have decided no, aside from the fact that it is illegal. For a start, it stimulates the appetite and I do not need to be putting on any more weight so that is a real consideration. The second is dosage, there would be a variation in the amount I would need to smoke each time. It may sound silly but having too much getting stoned and accidentally falling over is something I need to avoid at all costs. So that is out. So there is not pain relief options open to me at the moment.

So I come back to square one, suck it up and get on with it.

Image: "Ouch" by Kyndlefire