The Yarra Valley, Warburton and Fire

2009 was a bad year for bushfires in Victoria, specifically around the Yarra Valley. I didn't live there but did work at the time for Centrelink, Australia's social services agency, and was a part of the team that had, as its job, to contact everyone in the area.

Now some people contacted us - there were specific hotlines set up - the rest we did our best to call. As well as the $2000 emergency payment that most were eligible for, we also checked if they had other needs that we could assist with.

 For some it was assistance with food or clothes (millions of dollars (and tons) of items were being donated from across Australia and trucked into the area) , others wanted to find out if such-and-such was okay, or to find somewhere to say. We did our best to put them in contact with relevant NGOs and other agencies. We (Centrelink) also offered counsellors but mostly people just wanted to talk and talk they did.  I blogged some of them at the time.

It was hard, it was gruelling, at times I shed many a tear as the person on the other end of the line did the same. I went home and dreamed of their stories. This went on for weeks. The first anniversary commemorations on the radio and tv bought it all back and the nightmares started over again. I avoided all of the following years' commentaries.

I was thinking of none of this when coming down the highway last Friday. That was until I spied a big green sign that had an arrow to Flowerdale, one  of the affected towns. I hadn't realised I was so close, or that I was staying "in the zone".

Even now four years later there is evidence in the area of the destruction brought on by those fires. Yes there is a lot of regrowth in the forests, the towns appear to have been rebuilt and, on Good Friday, were particularly vibrant and active but I could see the scars of blackened tree trucks. My anxiety levels were up and I was on alert for the whole drive to where I was staying.

Warburton was one of the towns on the edge of the disaster. Relatively it was untouched but only becuase of a late change of wind,.

Warburton is an amazing community - full of art and life and color. Looking out of the window of where I am staying, or at any of the many many trees growing throughout the townships brings me the sense of delight that trees invariably do.

But if I look up at the mountain, heavily forested with trees, I can only "see" flames consuming it, my hands sweat, my breath quickens, my blood pressure rises, tears well up and I feel very unsafe.I can hear the stories as loudly as I could on the day of the calls

I have lived at the foot of the tree covered mountains around Bellingen for 7 years and never had this reaction. I sit and imagine now the Bello mountains and I feel happy thoughts, the same reaction as they always. It isn't "mountains" that distress me, it is these mountains.

I know this is the first time I have been to the area - either before or after the fires. What I wonder is that if I am having this reaction from my peripheral contact, how is the healing process going for everyone else who was directly affected.

Give me floods over fire any day.

PS I write this up from the safety of Tassie - I handwrote bits as I was traveling but now I have my first solid computer time. Even as I type my anxiety levels are up and I am weeping.


Image: "Bushfire near Kinglake" from Science In Public

The Car Shrunk

Bellingen is an amazing little town when it comes to weather - it gets more than its fair share of floods, the moisture of the floods and the inevitable sub-tropical sunshine afterwards can produce a wide range of molds and fungi, there are heavy mists that rest in the gullies and lift in finger-live tendrils as then day warms up. And most magic of all happened last night when I parked my car on the road instead of under

the carport and it shrunk. Well that is my story and I am sticking to it!

You can see by the photos that there should be plenty of room for my little piles in the back of a Hyundai Accent - or there would have been if it hadn't shrunk! Oh, and there is the desktop computer and associated hardware as well lol.

Okay, so maybe my spacial awareness is a little wanting, or a little optimistic. Either way it was time for cull number 4 of what I am defining as important to take with me. Which I did technically have a whole morning to do but decided to avail myself of the local hospitality and to have the opportunity of a drinkie after bellofoodbox and stay one more night and take off on Thursday so I have even more time :-)

Adventure now starts tomorrow instead of tonight.

PS: Please forgive my screwy use of tense in this post, I have been drafting it all day in my head and plans have changed but the mental editing didn't always lol

It's All About the Gate

... isn't it?

I have had a number of visitors to the ol' mansion recently and many of them have the annoying habit of not shutting the front gate as they come through. Now I acknowledge it is there more for decoration than any practical purpose - there are no cattle being kept in; there are no burglars being kept out - but surely there is a great unspoken rule that if you open a gate (or door for that matter) then you close it again afterwards.

On a farm it is more than a rule - it is as natural as breathing. And you only ever make the mistake of not doing it once - again, a bit like breathing. Having to chase down a trio of bobby headed calves heading in three separate directions is not my idea of fun.

So, back to my gate. No, none of my guests are the farming type so I guess I shouldn't presume the knowledge but I am also wondering if there isn't something a bit more going on.

Could it be that I am getting stuck in my ways? Could it be that I am becoming or worse still, have become) once of those people that have a black and white view on the right-ness and wrong-ness of things?

I know I have been pernickety about how the toilet paper hangs for years but that isn't a sign - that is a clear case of right (end hanging over) and wrong (end hanging under) with even the manufacturers agreeing with me. And I do like my clean glasses and mugs to sit upside down on the shelf - it keeps the dusty and everything else, another clear case of right and wrong. And I do like my bathroom towels to be neatly folded vertically and evenly balanced over the rail with the folded side facing the door .... okay I think that one is just me.

So maybe I am becoming one of those people .... just remember that I am right - and shut the gate.

Image: "The gate .... is open" by realtimelord

Wow What A Year

It is amazing what can happen to a woman when she stops being a hermit and steps out the front door and into her community!

I am now officially the Secretary of the Northbank Community Garden for a start. I will only do it for a year - they are going through the incorporation process and there is all of the paperwork to get gone - it makes my brain cells tingle with excitement with excitement every time I think of legislation and minutes and the like lol.

Then of course there was the incredible inaugural Bellingen River Festival which surely is one of the most exciting projects I have ever been a part of. The actual day was, as the name suggests, a celebration of our River and there was bands, workshops, guided walks, a program run by our indigenous people, canoe races,a  lantern parade - oh the list goes on - and all for the cost of a gold coin donation ($1 or $2). 

My component was the Storytellers tent (yay!). I have spent the past few weeks running around town interviewing all sorts of people and beginning to collect photos that tell a River Story. I have started a project on ABC Pool to allow them to be used for future projects by others (and they are also all stored in the National Library). And on the day we had poets, people telling stories, a photo display as well as an audio/visual presentation.

I am now looking at pitching a program for ABC's Radio National based on storytelling and using some of the work created for the Festival.

Oh and there is my beloved Foodbox which I am actually stepping back a little - helping out with packing the boxes and other little bits - not for any reason but that I am trying to balance everything out. I was doing a newsletter and recipe development as well as media/public relations but they has been passed on to others.

Oh, and I did a quick trip to WA in July - and will be going again in three or four weeks - and yes it shall be blogged this time lol.

So all in all, 2011 has been one of my best ones yet - and there are still two months to go :-)

Money's Too Tight To Mention

The budget is getting stretched way too tight and something has to give. I will either need to find a housemate or earn some money.

In principal the first is the easiest on my part but, if at all possible, is the one I wish to avoid. My space is so very precious to me and even if I can find the perfect person to share the place with, they will still be taking up space.

So now I look at Plan B. We have a number of markets here in town so that becomes an obvious option. The big one would be most ideal but I physically can't walk that far - no it isn't far - but it just isn't an option.

So I look to the smaller markets. They do have the advantage of being on twice a month and have just implemented a "car boot sale" type component. I need to find some more info but it would mean that the car is right next to me eliminating the need for walking. I will still need to lift and carry but I might have to suck that one up (or agree to find a housemate).

My initial idea is the rag dolls and felt bits (finger puppets, mobiles and the like). The rag dolls would be in the $20-ish range but the others would be under $10 - with the finger puppets at about $2. Maybe I could look at volume if nothing else lol. And there are the tea towels I have blinged as well.

So I have sent off my email looking for info, and in the meantime shall continue to sew sew sew :-)

I could of course get some of my work published which would be even better again .... but I think that that is a bit too much to wish for :-)

Image: "Money money money" by  duchesse-2- Guermante

Life, But Not As We Know It

Normally when I stop blogging it is because I am fighting the black dog but this time I have a far better excuse - I have become a bit of a social butterfly! Yes my dance card has been full and life has been a bit of a whirl.

So, a brief summary - I have won a couple of games of Scrabble but lost a whole lot more - still laugh a lot though. I have started going to the local writers group - got some great feedback for my first piece. I have been playing Auntie with baby Aeson (who is now nearly six months old). I have been visiting with baby Finn and parents - yes he has been born and moved into his nursery is just awesome. I have been working on two paintings - finished one, not quite finished the other. I have been making rag dolls (photo and separate post to come). I have perfected a couple of recipes (separate posts to follow). The new Pool is looking fabulous and working equally as well. I have been meeting new people (who will hopefully progress to being friends). Oh, and I have done a little road trip too lol.

So, I am off to read before going to bed but will have posts and photos for tomorrow :-)

Image: "Im the social Butterfly" by making-new-art

Getting Ready for Baby

It is only a couple of weeks to go now and my sewing projects are almost finished (will they ever really be done ... probably not lol).  Anyway, thought I would share some photos of my efforts.

The diaper bag - fully lined, lots of pockets - and a pillow to lay bump on while he/she is being changed. And yes the actual pillow is waterproof so the cover can be taken off for washing. Hand-sewn appliques, machine sewing for the actual bag..

Rag book - learn numbers and colors and shapes. Most of it is hand sewn appliques, machine finishing. One zebra (black). Two flowers (blue). Three frogs (pink). Four bananas (yellow). Five mushrooms (pink). Six snowmen (white). Seven teddy bears (red). Eight balloons (orange). Nine hearts (brown). Ten stars (purple).

The other bits - curtains for the nursery, "cow jumped over the moon" painting, star mobile for the window, stars and moons mobile for above the cot, nappy stacker, box of bears (for random decoration).

Still to talk to Ayla about sewing some diapers but I have a couple of other projects to make in the meantime :-)

Yippee and a Dance Dance Dance

Yesterday I was given the details of one of the local Scrabble groups that was looking for a new member. I rang today. A Scrabble group is a bit like a book club - you need to have a combination of people that fit to the overall purpose, group dynamics need to be right. And with some Scrabble groups they play competition rules, others are a bit more flexible. And that is on top of expected standards of play.

This group sounds perfect - they have a mixture of abilities, no one plays for sheep stations, and is social as well as game play. Yay!

The meet on Thursday mornings (yes every Thursday morning) so there is only 2 more sleeps until I get to introduce myself and play Scrabble :-)

Big yippee and a dance dance dance :-)

Image: "Scrabble" by JASONgotSEOUL

A Beautiful Idea

The mother of my grandchild had her baby shower last Sunday. I was a bit pukey so stayed home (after much thought and a realization that I was being selfish in wanting to take my germs to her place, just because I didn't want to miss out) but hope to catch up with her on Monday so she can be showered again.

Instead of gifts, Ayla requested that we all bring a bead. It didn't matter what sort of bead it was - just something that represented something special about Ayla or the baby, or our relationship or whatever. It is Ayla's plan to string them all together and then wear the necklace while she gives birth - so that we all are with her. Then the necklace will be hung up in the baby's room so that he/she will always have a reminder of the special people in his/her life around her. Surely this is one of the best ideas I have ever heard of!

I have made three so far - still can't decide which one is "the one" - I will post it when I have made a decision.

Travel Thoughts

It is getting close to the time where I want to book my travel back to WA for Graham and Nancy's wedding (which isn't until July but I like to be booked in early).

It will cost me $300 - $400 to fly. I don't really want to after the problems with Virgin last time. They didn't have my pre-booked wheelchair for me when we got back to Sydney and the airport was closing in about an hour. I had to walk (and I use that term very, very loosely) though to get my bag while accompanied by two apologetic (but so very patronizing) flight attendants. It was humiliating and crippling - and I am not sure which was worse.

I had a brilliant idea this morning - perhaps the train could be a viable option. Okay so it takes three days (as opposed to 7 hours) but I had a ball when I took the Indian Pacific when I moved over here. And I get to take photos! Small problem - it is $600 return. I am not saying it is poor value for money - it is just being on disability means that "money" is my issue.

How much belt tightening can I handle in the next month to get the extra money? Hmmm , need to look at budgets closely.

Problem Fixed???

I have taken the responsible, mature step and written my neighbors a letter. I used lots of "I" statements and emphasized that it one one singular behavior that I had a problem with - not the child, or them as parents. I tried to be as nice and diplomatic as possible. I thought about it for 24 hours. I got someone else to read it.

I left it at their front door last night.

And now I am playing chicken and not going to my front door to see if there is a response.

The child did do one scream this morning and was gently corrected. Since then .... nothing. He appears to have gone out. Co-incidence? Not sure - I am playing chicken - I so don't want to offend them.

Patience is Not (My) Virtue

Yes I have another opportunity to learn the joy of patience .... and it isn't really happening surprise, surprise lol.

After years of wanting, yearning and dreaming I have taken the plunge and have started to dreadlock my hair. I do confess that before I started it all I did check I could take them and that I should avoid washing them for as long as possible (about 5 or 6 days) out but that was about as far as my investigation went - apart from knowing that I wanted them to be fatter versions of Whoopi's version.

So on New Year's Eve day the awesome Aleena volunteered to section and backcomb for a few hours. New Year's Day I jumped out of bed all excited that I would never have to brush my "almost long enough to sit on" hair. I think that was my last moment of actual excitement.

Things I have learned since that day:

Number 1 - they take about 3 - 6 months to fully come together - depending on how much work you put into them.
Number 2 - instead of the daily routine of washing my hair, followed by a brush and a tousle (no other work involved) to get dreads happening I have had to spend a good hour or two each day rolling or crocheting the little lovelies.
Number 3 - although you can avoid all of the commercial products that oh so many companies want to flog you, there does need to be some hair product if you want to leave the house without a hat - at the moment I have conceded to use mousse and gel.
Number 4 - Wendy is great at enthusiastically encouraging me to stick with them - and spending a few hours neatening, tightening and generally fiddling.

So my hair looks closer to the non-Whoopi photo which is so NOT what I want. I did threaten to shave everything off tomorrow if there wasn't some improvement, hence the use of hair product - and the improvement  over the last week (slow but sure improvement).

Now my brother's wedding isn't until the first week of July so I have plenty of time in that regards, and I live in a village that is full of hippies (and yuppies and farmers and arties with the occasional surfie thrown in for good measure) so no one is going to care if my hair is messy but I WANT IT TO HAPPEN NOW!

Sigh ....

The Problem with Neighbors

When i moved into this neighborhood I was informed that it was a condition of moving in that there would be no noise - it was a quite group of retired folk, shift workers and the like so there was to be no children, no pets, no loud music, no anything antisocial in the way of noise. It suited me perfectly - and still does.

Towards the end of 2010, my delightful neighbor Victoria moved out. For the next two weeks there was the incessant noise of  building teams replacing the roof, the decking and other general repairs. It drove me mad but I put up with it (except for the loud and violent swearing in which case I had to speak up).

Shortly after a new family moved in. Now this house is owned by a different person to the person who owns mine so apparently different rule applied.

They moved in with their chooks and ducks which make their noise consistently during daylight hours. They moved in their dog which likes to bark whenever they leave the house or at random hours of the day and night (especially the night). I can put up with all of these with varying degrees of patience.

What is increasingly driving me up the wall with insanity is their 20 month old child. Again I can put up with random crying, and continual calls of "dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad". What I cannot handle anymore is the high pitched squealing (not screaming, squealing like the noise that pigs make) which I have timed at occurring approximately 20 minutes out of every daylight hour. This squealing is done to get attention, if the child doesn't get his way, if he is happy .... well for any number of reasons really. And I would be lucky to hear either of his parents call him on it once a week! It is like fingernails down the chalkboard and I can't take it anymore.

Now overall I would regard the parents as being good parents, they spend a lot of one-on-one time with him, they actively and creatively play with him. He always appears clean and well fed. So in no way am I thinking that he is being mistreated - he just has a particularly unsocial skill.

I have spent months thinking about what to do. Being pretty much housebound I can't really go out every day. Nor can I move - and yes I have investigated. But apart from the actual costs of moving, this is one of the rare one storey places in town - and stairs aren't an option - especially in my price bracket. I have thought and thought and asked the advice of everyone I know but there doesn't appear to be any practical suggestions.

I admit I had a bad night and today isn't a whole lot better but he just started up again. I responded with a "stop squealing" which was only said at a volume slightly above a speaking voice (our windows align which makes the problem worse on my side). Miraculously there is silence!!!

I am split between guilt for possibly offending the father who is home at the moment, and for "disciplining" someone else's child and reveling in the space and quiet. I don't want to be a lousy neighbor - but I don't want to live next door to one either. Time will tell .... but I am always open to other alternatives.

Image: "neighbors" by estefannia

I'm Going to Be a Nanna!

Yes in about 5 weeks I will be Nanna Pearl. Not biologically of course, but socially - which I personally think is just as fabulous :-)

Now I only had one living grandmother and she wasn't the best of role models but I think I have got this sorted - don't give baby raising advice unless asked, don't feed the child sugar or red food coloring before sending them home, have fairly consistent rules as those at home (with just a little more spoiling). Well that is my plan at this stage lol.

I do have one particularly positive memory of my grandmother and that was the treat of, when I was little, of being able to play with the lambs that were stored in the entryway cupboard. It was on top of my wish list when she recently moved into a retirement home and, well you can tell by the photo they have made their way to my place.

They aren't fancy as such - just made by Grandma from white corduroy with black fabric scraps for the feet and pink for  ears - but they were all the world to me. Now I do remember them being MUCH bigger (about double the size actually) but then I was MUCH smaller so I guess that balances out. And while the embroidered eyes are just fine, they did have silver buttons at one point - but I will have to find exact matches before any changes happen there.

In any case, I was thinking how magic it would be if my first grandchild when he or she is a little bigger also loved playing with the lambs - and I was able to pass them down so that their children might also play with them. Now I do acknowledge that the world has changed and everyone is different, and the child may not be interested in the lambs (I do have other attractions of the fluffy, book or crafty varieties). I just like the thought.

New Pearlcast is out

I have added a new Pearlcast to the Pool website - take into account I am still learning this modern technology stuff but you can check it out here. It is an ode to Summer - with an attempt to desperately try and find the positives in my least favorite season :-)

Image: "Harvest Time by Cyron

Oh What A Year

Of all the years I have lived through, this has not been a favorite - maybe the break from blogging was a hint lol. Actually, to be fair to myself, I haven't taken a break form blogging - not one day .... I just have written them in my head instead of on the computer lol.

Anyway, there have been some highlights and sunshine in amongst the clouds so I have decided to start blogging here again. Yes I know I have said that before but second time lucky lol

Image: "2010" by Balakov

I Admit Defeat

It has been a year since I have had to give up work and while lots of fabulous things have happened, I admit that I am not really coping with it all. I have good days but they are getting further and further apart.

The depression is back and has been since December last year. I have tried to ignore it and I have tried to fake it but it just takes too much effort and I am tired.

I went and saw my doctor yesterday. He was great. We have a plan. With a little time I will be back to being my normal happy self. I thought about keeping it to myself but I don't know why I should be shame any more than I should be for my back pain or whatever else.

And it looks like my diagnosis of diabetes was wrong lol

Image: "Black Balloon" by eNZM

Playing Around

When I submitted my play some weeks ago I was happy with it, but knew I would always be tweaking it to make it "perfect". I was never presumptuous enough to think it might win but I was glad I had met the challenge I set for myself. The Fellowship had advised that only the shortlisted people would be notified due to the volume of entries so I set it free and moved on.

And then on the radio last night I heard them say that the judges were still reading through the submissions and the shortlist would come out sometimes in August.

My heart did a little skip, I was still in with a chance. I laughed at myself. For all of my conversations about "just giving it a go", I did/do have a secret desire (however presumptuous) for success.

Sigh ....

Image: stage" by FriX1981

Electric Dreams?

A wonderfully beautiful and generous friend has given me a tv so I can watch Parliamentary Question Time.

But that insidious box has been reaching out its tentacles - I have changed the channel and been bombarded with commerce and greed. At first I couldn't take it, I could feel my braincells dying with each ad that came on. But Masterchef is Masterchef and over a week I have been numbed to the ads and I am watching tv again.

I find it interesting that it was so very easy to swap to life without tv and, after a little false start, so very easy to slip back into life with it. I keep trying to come up with a philosophy or other form of analysis to justify why I sit there and watch ads, why I even turn commercial television on, but I haven't come up with anything yet.

Sigh .... (but I do love my Question Time)

Image: "Television" by kashmir63

That Day

Now that I am even more securely holed up in my hermit life I had initially dismissed "that" day but my mind has been wondering this evening. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have the sisters here, to celebrate that - and I could coincide the dates.

Yes I know we could go out for dinner but I cook, I am me, it isn't an option. I am thinking that if I chose my menu carefully (well more carefully than usual) and spread the cooking over a few days I could pull it off!

So, at this stage I am thinking an Italian theme, four courses, 7 guests (my table seats 8). Hey I can do that standing on my head.

And then I have further thought that last time I had one of "these days" I had three parties in the one day. Now that is pushing it (it was 10 years ago and a lot has changed lol) but I am thinking about a morning/afternoon tea for another day - and I might even invite boys to that one.

Yes I reserve the right to change my mind but so far I am liking it .... now for the "save the dates" ....